Thank for your support and questions, I really appreciate it! I giggled at a lot of the questions you sent and have tried really hard to respond to those of you truly seeking advice. Here's a few I have space to answer, and I look forward to more questions from you!
I broke up with the greatest guy ever and I realized he is the one for me. How do I get him back?
You don’t. You move on. We’re in college, and we’re not here to find our husbands or dwell on past relationships that didn’t work out. Everything happens for a reason and there is something better waiting for you. If you broke up with him in the first place, I’m sure there was something you didn’t like about him or the relationship because you would have stayed if you were happy. Put on some heels and red lipstick and go find yourself a new boo. Pardon my bluntness.
How do you know if a person of the opposite sex wants to be friends, or wants more but just doesn’t really know how to?
I’m going to assume that you are speaking about a good friend of yours. Consider that they might be used to being your friend and are unsure how to make a transition to be more than friends. You won’t know anything until you are straightforward with them. It is hard to tell what the opposite sex wants and sometimes, you have to put yourself out there. If the two of you have been friends for a while, you might want to consider which is more important: a relationship with the person, or a friendship with this person. Spit it out! That is something our generation doesn’t know how to do.
It is my first semester at NPU and I still don't have any friends that I can hang out with. I've joined several clubs and been a part of activities, but I just end up talking to people and then they forget me, which makes me feel isolated. Do you have any ideas on how to make friends in college?
I’m sure it doesn’t help that there are friend groups and cliques at every age in life. NPU has a great community, but it’s only natural to be cliquey and hang out within our own comfort. When making friends, it needs to feel effortless on both sides. You can’t instantly make friends with a group of people; it’s just the way our generation is. Since you’ve already joined several clubs, you should make conversation with one or two people at a time. Be genuine, be yourself, and don’t force anything because good things happen at the right times. If you’d like to reveal your identity, feel free to contact me via email. I’d love to take you to coffee!
I have a friend who's suicidal, what can I do to help?
I thought long about my response to you and wished so badly that I could respond to you sooner because this is such a sensitive and tough issue. This hits home for me as I had two friends in my life commit suicide. Every day I look back at all that I could have done to help them. One who is considering suicide may not ask for help, but that does not mean they don’t want it. Getting your friend support is so important when they're expressing thoughts of hurting themselves. There are great options for help here on campus. Barrington Price and Amy Turner in Student Success help students with a variety of concerns and work with students to provide support during difficult times. Counseling Support Services also has wonderful counselors available for your friend to talk with. It is important to openly speak about the subject, ask them to schedule a meeting with a counselor, and do not promise confidentiality. If your friend is unwilling to reach out for help, please let an RA, an RD, a professor, or any another faculty or staff member on campus know what is going on so they can help them get connected with services that can help. I hope this was helpful, and if not, please contact me through email.
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